Hi there! Thanks for stopping by my site!
This is supposed to be full of the usual fluff about who I am and what I do and why I do it. That’s pretty boring, in my personal opinion, but I’ll give it a whirl just the same.
What the heck is “Chez Crazy”?
Good question. Chez is French (like ooh la la, I’m so sexy with my beret and a big crusty loaf of bread sort of French) and the general consensus on interpretations is “the home of”. So, essentially, Chez Crazy means “the home of crazy” and if that isn’t an apt description of life in our household, I don’t know what would be.
Is your house really crazy?
Yes. I suppose that anyone who has kids is at least partially crazy at some point in their life because kids have such a knack for inching you closer to the line between sane and off-your-freaking-rocker. So, yeah. Things get crazy here. I’m more of a loon (no relation to the beautiful birds with the haunting call that sends chills down your spine) than the average person primarily because I don’t sleep much or regularly and with all the nights spent up alone listening to the creaks in the house, you start to lose your mind a bit.
Joking aside, we’re not terribly crazy. We try to make the most every situation, even the bad ones, so that alone lends itself to hilarity. Sometimes the only way to keep from crying is to laugh yourself silly. Other times we’re totally cool with crying and have a family crying time–like when Dad ships out for the second cruise in a year. Having a family full of people sitting on the couch bawling in tandem lends to the general air of craziness around here.
Decide for yourself if we’re crazy or not.
Is there a point to your site?
Short answer: Nope.
Long answer: Does there have to be a point? My only goal with the site is to have a bit of fun, vent some of the frustrations that families, moms, and dads worldwide are familiar with. More than that, it’s nice to set some of the GOOD stuff out there for the world too. It always helps the bad days seem a little less bad if I can look back at previous posts and say, “OMG, It’s NOT all bad. Ok, I’ll be fine now, cause I know there was a light at the end of the tunnel before and if I can get the damn bulb changed, there will be light again.”
Also, I feel better about things when I put my thoughts on paper. Since putting thoughts on paper results in a hand cramp and I’m all about less pain, more gain, I figured I’d go the digital route. (Plus my mom likes seeing pics of the grandkids, so since I can’t draw, it works better this way.)
Are you just going to yap about your kids?
Probably going to do a lot of yapping about my kids. Since they’re the center of my world, everything kind of revolves around them most of the time. So, yeah.
I’ll also be yapping about other really awesome stuff though too. Like food. I love food, so there will definitely be food talk. And homeschooling. It’s what we do, so that topic is bound to come up a few hundred times.
Who are you people?
Jen:That’s me. I’m the person you get to hear yap. Aren’t you excited? Lets see…what is there to know about me? Well, I’m 31, married with kids, sort of insane. I design websites and write to earn some extra money. I homeschool my kids. I was homeschooled myself. I am the oldest of 13 kids. I love that I came from a huge family except for when it comes time to remember everyone’s birthdays. I’m horrible with names, I rock at crunching numbers, I love to bake, I like to cook, I don’t like soda, and I drink coffee almost incessantly. I read every chance I get, although, for the past couple of years, I’ve spent all my spare time (Ha! Like I HAVE any of that.) wading through really thick, boring, tech books and LOVING it. (Chalk another one up for crazy.) I’m a red-head, sassy, and sometimes really freaking mean. I have a potty mouth that I sometimes think about cleaning up. I love my family, my friends, and people in general as long as I don’t have to deal with them (I’m not a social butterfly). I’m not perfect and wouldn’t want to be.
Eddie:The sometimes love of my life even though we have more fun(??) bickering than we do loving all sappy and stuff. He’s in the navy, does IT work, and even does the dishes too! He’s one of those really calm, restful types which is good because it balances out my crazy. It’s also bad because it seems cold to a person as passionate and volatile as I am. We fight sometimes, but we make up too! He’s not always been my favorite person (most days that “Favorite Person” title is still something I’m working on associating with him), but he sort of grew on me like fungus. Seriously though, I don’t know what I’d do without him, unless you count shopping for Excedrin once a year instead of weekly like I do now. (At least that’s what I tell him.)
Dewey: Dewey is our first child, and he’s mostly pleasant. I say mostly because he’s recently discovered his genetic makeup requires him to torment his sisters and profess love to the neighbor girl until she cries. He has finally given up on his hate of all things phonics and learned to read, so he’s been easy to get along with lately as long as you give him his computer time or pass him one of the many, many, many reading books on the shelves. He’s an avid gamer (Morrowind is his favorite) and he Googles like mad. He intends to be a science teacher when he grows up, or at least that’s his reasoning for his endless web searches for hurricane and tornado videos. He’s a 10 year old smart aleck with both wit and speed. I love that. Although he torments Kearsey and Arianna, he dotes on Mackenzie as only an older brother can.
Kearsey:Kearsey (KK) is 9, and unlike her brother, always wants to help with everything. She loves to cook, is learning to sew, and wants to “yarn” (crochet for those that don’t speak crazy kid language) with mom. She intends to take her incessant drawing digital soon if I’ll give her my graphics tablet, so that she can create fashion design computer graphics. She loves Photoshop and Illustrator just like me. We butt heads a lot because she’s a talker and I like quiet. She talks non-stop for hours it seems, but she also requires that the person she’s talking to respond. She loves handwriting. I think it must be because she gets to do loops and stuff when writing cursive and a lot of her drawings have swirls and loops. She likes making jewelry and loves Barbie and Hannah Montana. She’s incredibly vain and goes through lip gloss like I go through notebooks. She loves to clean. How crazy is THAT? She’s also a little mother hen and dotes on everyone including me, so it’s a joy to dote on her as well. Although she grates on everyone’s nerves frequently because she makes noise incessantly, she’s got a sweet, helpful spirit and it’s easy to carry on a relatively intelligent conversation with her that does not include references to planes, Morrowind, or penises (unlike conversations with Dewey). She’s already determined that she is NEVER EVER EVER EVER having kids or a husband because, in her words, she “doesn’t need that headache”. I doubt she’ll feel the same way 20 years from now, but I understand her sentiments because I always felt the same way and still struggle not to feel that way to this day.
Arianna:Arianna (Ari) is our crazy little tomboy. More at home with a layer of mud on her than with a clean set of clothes, she continually amazes us with how dirty she can get. She loves nature–especially bug hunting–which suits her tomboy mama just fine. She’s a beautiful, but strange child whose idea of insulting someone is calling them a “bucket” or a “picture frame” or some other equally odd and confusing insult. We don’t understand it. We don’ t think she does either. At 8 years old, she is the sort of child that still needs a nap every single day before 1pm or things get really nasty around here. She doesn’t take a nap, anymore, but the rest of us wish she would. She loves school unless she actually has to do anything like, oh….writing, or counting, or phonics, or cutting out things, or…well, you get the point, right? The idea of school appeals to her. The rest of it, not so much. She claims to hate Barbie, but loves Hannah Montana. She also loves Wall-E and Igor. She is morbid and has a bevy of imaginary friends who, according to her, either hate her or die in tragic accidents. Strangely, she’s the most outgoing and cheerful (to non-family members) of our children as well.
Mackenzie: (Kenzie or Punky) Kenzie is something else. At 5 1/2 she refuses to talk for the most part, but has recently learned a good deal of sign language. Personally, it drives me batty knowing that she can talk and will but ONLY if she feels like it. Her favorite words right now are “Wow” and “Shuup” (shut up–usually screamed with a red, scrunched-up face when she’s gotten in trouble and turns to whoever is closest and projects her nastiness onto them). She also says “tickle-tickle” while trying to tickle her own belly. She clings to me constantly which has contributed to my craziness at least partially. She has an affinity for being naked and we can’t keep clothes on her for more than an hour most days. She hates to wear shoes, but loves being naked with her slippers on. She pretends to be a dog fairly often and tries to lap her food off of her plate which doesn’t help with her hair problems. She hates having her hair up and always pulls it down and messes it all up, so essentially, she looks like a naked crazy bum all the time with puffy pink slippers and a pullup on. We’re in the process of getting her tested for apraxia, autism, or some combination of the two. She’s my “special” child and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if she lived with me till she was old and gray.
The Fish: We used to have a bunch of gold fish and black mollies and we’ve bought a total of four betas. We have one fish left, a male beta. I’d go into the story of how we ended up with only one fish but it’s long and goes something like, “someone put a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the fish tank” and “someone tried to hold the first two betas so they could ‘pet’ them”.Our last remaining fish finally succumbed to all the “love and affection” and floated happily down the sewer pipe grave, grateful that the turds he had to deal with in death didn’t have hands and an affinity for feeding him PB&J.
The Hamster: We gave up on fish for the time being and found a snippy little dwarf hamster on CraigsList that has made a nice little home for himself with us. Unlike the fish, Nick actually chews people’s fingers when he doesn’t want messed with–a character flaw that has drastically increased his chances of survival here at Chez Crazy. Like the fish, the hamster died from all the love and attention. Some charming person fed rubber bugs to him and I found him dead with a piece of rubber roach leg in his mouth the next morning.
The Dog: We have a big, floppy-eared mutt. He’s part Black and Tan Coonhound and part German Shepherd. Basically, this means, he barks a lot, sheds incessantly, and drips his water everywhere when he finishes drinking. Dante is a great family dog, but he’s a little overprotective. Basically, he busts out screens and tears up doors trying to get outside to protect the munchkins from all those horrible, evil, dangerous neighbor kids who love playing in our yard. He practically foamed at the mouth trying to eat a four year old once. True story. Seriously, he is SLOWLY getting better. We’ve managed to let two children come into our house and they did not leave with missing limbs. We celebrated.
The Cats: We have two cats. Well…one kitten and one grumpy old fart of a cat. Old crotchety cat is Percy. He’s a huge Maine Coon and can easily stand on his back legs and put his paws on the kitchen countertop. He can also jump from the floor to the top of the refrigerator. He’s crazy and grumpy. And then there is my little kitten Cooter. He’s a gray tabby, and all legs now that he’s growing like mad. He LOVES Percy and Dante. Dante loves him back. Percy does not.
The Birds and Squirrels: We have a bunch of squirrels around (something about living in the city means there are always squirrels around looking for a handout) and quite a few pairs of doves, a pair of cardinals, and a bunch of other birds that come around regularly. We put out food on our patio right outside the patio door so that we can watch them easily. The kids love it.
That pretty much wraps up the “About” section, so if your eyes are not bleeding from all that, feel free to click through posts or (if I’ve gotten other stuff up on the site yet) have a look around.